Henry J. Kaiser High School

Counseling Department

The college admissions process may have been a demanding time for students and parents alike, but the increasing anxiety the student and parents are feeling may be more overwhelming than the admissions process itself. I have listed several tips that may help the student and parents deal with these normal feelings so take a deep breath, exhale and stay calm.

Listen:

Be aware of the many emotions student and parents will experience as the day of departure grows near. Both student and parent may experience emotions such as, anger, sadness, fear, excitement, calmness, frustration and anxiety. Do not be fooled by outbursts or impulsive behavior and do not take it personal. Listen for the underlying emotion and discuss these feelings and understand that they are normal. Be receptive, understanding and kind.

Trust:

Discuss with student your expectations and concerns. Parents have spent many    years teaching and training their children to confront the wrongs and rights of the world. Express to your children how confident you are about their decision-making abilities and reassure them that you will support them in their choices and if a poor decision is made that you will remain a support system.

Communicate:

Discuss how you will communicate with your student. Set up a routine for a day and time both will make contact. Be proactive and not reactive to the conversation. Reassure them of your confidence in them and the support system you will always be. Discuss that homesickness is a normal reaction and that it will take time to adjust to the new environment. Discuss times when the student will return home. This activity may help ease the student’s anxiety about the separation.

Rituals:

I feel this is an important part of the transitioning process for young adults who are preparing to leave for college as well as for family. Suggest a family gathering full of feast and fun. During the gathering ask family members to express their feelings, concerns or inspirations they may have for the student. This celebration may help mark the closure of adolescence and give substance to the passage of young adulthood for both student and parents.

Tip Sheet for Parents with Students Transitioning to College

By: Regina Brust, High School and College Counselor